At the start, approaching women is not easy. It takes a lot of balls to go up to a random woman that you don’t know and start hitting on her. The good news however, is that it gets much, much easier with time. The more approaches you make, the less you will panic or be nervous. Eventually, you will be able to talk to literally any woman you want with confidence, no matter how beautiful she may be.
The truth is, either you have the balls to approach or you don’t. Talking to women (while sober) is very easy for me and I have approached around 200 women. I don’t go out to nightclubs or bars, but if I did, and had something to drink, I would literally find it so easy to talk to any girl that I found attractive. So there is no excuse. If you can only talk to girls whenever you are absolutely hammered, the truth is that you are a pussy.
Before approaching, first, work on yourself. Try to make yourself look as attractive as possible. These days women focus primarily on looks when it comes to selecting a mate, so appearance matters more than ever. I’ve tried approaching with a pot belly and I always got rejected.
If you are overweight, lose the fat. If you dress poorly and smell bad, fix it. Looks matter.
However, the best way to have confidence when approaching and ensuring that you get many phone numbers is to be lean and in shape. All the pickup knowledge in the world is worthless if you look like shit. The truth is, if the girl is attracted to you, you could say anything you want even if it sounds stupid as hell and she will still give you her number.
I spent years studying pickup artistry and techniques for getting women, but the truth is getting women is as simple as getting into insane shape, which should only take you 3-6 months. The reason most pickup artists succeed with women isn’t necessarily because of their techniques, its because they look attractive. Try to make yourself look the best you can.
The good news though, for less attractive guys, is that pickup is simply a numbers game. The more women you talk to, the more success you will have. At the start, you should aim to get 1 number every 10 girls you talk to. That’s a 10% closing rate. Some of these girls will reply, and some will not. It depends how your approach went.
Don’t get me wrong, confidence goes a long way when it comes to approaching. But being lean and in shape trumps everything. If you are not in shape, it’s time to do it. If you want to become a top 1% male, the man that actually gets women off dating apps and has options then start lifting weights. If there isn’t a gym near you buy a barbell or dumbbells and do body-weight exercises. There is no excuse.
Here are some of the best places to do cold approach:
- On the street
- Grocery stores
- Coffee shops
- Bookstores
- At the gym
- Parks
- At a bar
- Nightclubs
Every time you leave your house you should be in pickup mode in case you bump into beautiful women whenever you are out and about, which is likely.
When it comes to approaching, you need to get rid of your fear of rejection. If you don’t approach, you are rejecting yourself! What’s the worst thing that can happen? She will tell you that sorry she is not interested or that she has a boyfriend. That’s it 99% of the time. I haven’t had any terrible approaches at all.
Stop letting your imagination ruin your confidence and then imagine the worst possible outcome, and then deal with it. She could scream at you, for instance. That never happens. Most women like being approached by men, even if they are not interested. And don’t worry about the law. Approaching women is not illegal; there’s nothing wrong with it. It is harmless.
It is true that bars and nightclubs are more socially acceptable places to talk to women. But a lot of pickup artists also do daygame (approaching during the day) on the streets, and I have had success doing this myself. If you are serious, I recommend that you do both.
Another thing that I recommend is that you live in a big city, or a city at least. If you live in a small town or in the countryside you won’t be able to effectively do cold approach. Try to move to a big city as soon as you can.
When it comes to pickup and game, the most important thing is how attractive you are. What is secondary are things like confidence and skill, which is something that you develop over time. Before approaching, first maximise your looks and style and be in shape – if you can manage this, you will find cold approach ridiculously easy, and in some cases, beautiful women will even approach YOU.
Until next time.
-Fierce Alpha
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